I am mellow 😦 and mellow for various reasons. (apparently I should be using the word gloomy instead of mellow)
- Graduation is coming
- I miss hanging out with my clique
- I miss my friends
- I hate the senseless, childish drama and muscle some people like to pull. Sometimes I wish I could be away from that.
- I don’t like who I’m turning into.
Everything is pretty self explanatory. I am not out of civilisation but because of our different schedules and all. We hardly get to spend quality time together just hanging out chit chatting and keeping it simple.
I don’t like who I am turning into because I’m becoming really lazy and a huge ass procrastinator I don’t know how to step out of it. Being in your final semester really sucks! Especially when you don’t give a shit bout the work you do anymore. This sucks because I used to be one that really cared about the quality of work I produced. I cared alot about group projects. I cared about tutorials. I cared about keeping up with school.
This whirlpool of procrastination is horrible!! I’m losing all the good parts of me! What will happen if I lose all this qualities for good? I will be an arrogant ass with nothing good to offer in exchange. I will not progresss well at work. My bosses will not see much in me. I WILL TOTALLY SUCK.
Someone… tell me how I can get the good parts of my old self back?
I need ambition and goals. I need to see the big picture. I need to see why I am doing this. I need to see the joy and fun in it. I need to be inspired. Resting on your laurels, being ignorant and fearless really sucks!! Wishing I would care and fear more.
I hope I will be much happier tomorrow. Good night my dear bubble!
The Bubble of Recluse 