We caught up with Xz’s life in Saudi and stuff about Daniel. But slowly, the topic changed into questions like

Have you found your calling?
Do you enjoy the work you do?
Why is it people never want to discuss work or how is work outside of the office? Is it because theres no real passion and they don’t love it?
Why is it in Singapore we all work within invisible boundaries that we won’t step out of and consider alternative options? Always saying no it won’t work or thats impossible before even trying.
Is it our education system that ruined us? The paper chase and pressures to perform that killed dreams and ambition we may have once had. Moulding us into cookie cut people.
Are you willing to sacrifice material gains in exchange for a job you love? Are you able to stop benchmarking with your peers?
Is there a higher power up there looking out for you, sending you signs every now and then to lead you down the path you were supposed to take?
How are you gonna find your calling?
When will you start trying before saying it’s impossible and turning it down outright?

Yea… We discussed these topics over 3 hours. Pretty abstract for a Monday indeed eh?

Its amazing how we don’t discuss stuff like this with our usual close friends but with each other…. These topics come out ever so easily. There is something about friends you get to know in a different environment that somehow brings you together in a certain manner.

I remember returning back to school from the states. I understood what it meant by the joy of learning in school and appreciated my curriculum for its contents rather than the grades. That semester, I did well but the semester after I was back to routine me studying for grades rather than joy.

Fascinating what Singapore does to you… Law abiding disciplined and obedient.

Sheesh… I almost dropped my phone while typing this and dozing off.

Until next time…

BEDTIME!!!

I’ve just woken from a weird dream so here I am to keep the record.

The main gist of it was that my parents wanted me to marry moo. I can’t remember the exact details but I know that arrangements were on the way.. Until I came out and finally said I’m not ready and not sure. So the whole thing was called off.

Moo overheard me saying that to my mum. Later on, I had to tell him in person and apologise. I had to go like “I’m sorry, I’m not ready for this. Its too fast. Maybe in a year’s time.” and gave him a hug. All moo could say was “it’s ok. ” and that was it. The  part about “maybe in a year’s time” probably didn’t get through.

So that was it. The weird dream and thats how it ended. I woke up thereafter. The magazine I read before falling asleep definitely messed my brain up enough for this dream to happen… Stupid SDN magazine…

1. My colleague/buddy resigned

My buddy resigned stating reasons of being homesick and sick of being a foreigner. Definitely the low pay was a high push factor. Well, we’ve been working on several projects together and with each… We had our moments of fun, annoyance and stress.

Life at work now will be much quieter. Yesterday, the 2nd day she left was Friday the 13th. Coming to work I was flooded with a series of mails for followup from my 2 bosses. The day was busy and slightly stressful at the same time as I had to multi task between 3 different projects all at the same time.

Moments like this, I really missed having my neighbour around. Whether it’s to complain and rant at or if she annoys me even further.

Now that shes left though, I’m happy theres a wall between our desks. It hides the anxious vibes from my other colleague.

I’m really glad I spent those nights doing up a card for her.

On her last day, she looked serious in her casual jeans with eye shadow and all. At that moment, I suddenly saw why fiq found her hot. Since the day I got really smashed at her place and she kinda looked after me… Theres this lingering thought of what would it feel like to give her alittle peck on her cheek. Lol strange thoughts eh? Well… It wouldn’t happen. I’m far too rational for it. Pretty sure unless I was instigated or pushed to do so… It wouldn’t happen even if I was drunk.

So there you go… Lingering thoughts..

2. I got seriously drunk for the first time

So, told you my buddy resigned right. Well, on 6th Jan we had a farewell drinks session with other colleagues. My poor planning led me to have clashes in my schedule. In essence, I only fully met for the after party at her place.

Empty stomach coupled with the quench for thirst… The perfect recipe for getting drunk. Glad it happened cos now I know my threshold and what I do when drunk.

Good news was that I was decent without being slutty of any sort. Bad news… I rattle and talk alot. Sometimes stuff I shouldn’t say come out too. Although I can barely recall what happened for those moments of stupor, I was constantly asking for tissue and being still really aware of my surroundings. Good thing the company was safe too I guess.

The day after was horrible. Massive hangover, puked at least 7 times. All the way until 9pm the day after, I was still puking whatever I drank or consumed.

A worthy lesson to remind me never to get drunk like that again.

3. The heavens seemed to have sent me a sign

So remember how these events are all linked? Well the monday after my night of stupor, my colleagues were discussing what happened to me and what foolish stuff I was doing that night.

They viewed photos and had a quick discussion openly that attracted my z-high ranked colleague to ask what happen want to view photos. At that point…… It was FML…”My career in this company if I had any to begin with is gone. I should just quit my job now…”

While still the moments of *uck! Shit! Dammit! I receive a call from this headhunter telling me of an opening at another company. Too much of an occurrence isn’t it? And that was the first time I received a call from a headhunter. After putting down the call… I laughed it off looking at the hilarity of the whole string of events.

Moments like this… I definitely know theres a god up there looking out for me. The timeliness of it all couldn’t be any better. Which leaves me to think if this is really a sign from the heavens and whether I was supposed to seriously consider this job opening.

Yup, not first time things have strangely worked out through its turn of events like it was all already planned for me. I do believe there is a higher power looking out for me.

2012 has barely begun and already so eventful. Lets hope for more happenings worthy penning down.

According to the Chinese zodiac, last year was a bad year for rabbits. I’m hoping for a better year this time.

Happy new year! Its been a long time since i’ve been back here.

So anyway…. Nothing much has been up.. Some stuff have been eventful but I will leave that as a separate post.

Just for remembrance sake… Christmas was spent picnicing under a pavilion at Ecp. Due to wet weather. It was nevertheless enjoyable we counted down to Christmas in the car at simei.

At work, the spirit was good with our decorations all up. A mini tree, Christmas sock and all. We asked for donations into our sock and was provided with much snacks and toys. This time for present exchange, we got to list down 3 items to we want for Christmas.

I wrote; alittle blue smurf to keep my carebear company, a namecard holder preferably leather and lastly the book freakonomics. My wonderful colleague gave me 2 namecard holders at the same time. I got to become secret Santa to my boss. He asked for collar stiffeners, a mirror, or a footstool. Such weird requests. I got him collar stays amongst a huge box of shredded paper.

New year eve was at my place where we had a bbq with drinks, games and sparklers to end off the night. All that arrangements and preparations were much enjoyable. But tiring too. I am considering having a quiet new year this time round.

As it turned into 2012, I looked back and felt like I didnt achieve anything in 2011. Kinda depressing. Only achievements I could think of were diving, lasik and that trip to Malaysia.

Next up was last weekend. The mum and dad are out of town travelling. So friday, bro and I together with rach had the birthday treat for godma. Thereafter I was off to some zombie busting. Saturday, I walked the dogs and got their nails clipped at the groomer. That was a hefty $40! Next up, off to gym where I diligently did some cross training after class on my own. Then it was off to the grocer to get some snacks and stuff. Once home, Im showered and off to bugis watch hunting. We bargained 15% down for Mr ho’s g-shock.

The weekend was also halloween weekend. With the privilege of the car, off I went with a hidden find to bring the matees.

Off to soulout@farmway 1 we went. The place was all decorated up with servers dressed to scare. Pity there wasnt the crab promo. But anyhow we had their crabs. It was 3 for $38 still pretty darn cheap and yummy. We tried the butter crab since tiara doesn’t take much spicy food. The dishes took quite some time to arrive and the butter crab was served first which was weird but we were all hungry by then. The curry fish head that they claimed to be good was reduced to “nothing special” by the friends. Cereal prawn was one of the hot favourites. Total bill was $126 for 6 of us and we ordered quite a number of dishes. Great deal!

Next up, we drove to pick up moo’s car and once again off to bam bam. That turned our supposed Halloween night into yet another normal weekend for us. After bam bam, we had supper at macs where I suggested a happy meal on a whim. When was the last time u had a happy meal with the toy, box and all? Always good to be a kid every now and then. moo and jy stayed over at my place where we watched Sanctum and went to bed at 7am Sunday morning. Amazing isnt it?

We woke up at noon. I headed off to gym for 90 minutes of body combat. Met bestie thereafter where we had dinner and acted like slugs in the garden slug. The day ended with ice cream from little ice cream kafe. Surprisingly yummy ice cream. So yays!

There you go busy weekend. The life of a singleton. Carefree and independent! Much as I loved it, I don’t think i’ll like to spend the rest of my life like that.

Thoughts….

The departure of someone close is heartbreaking. And my friend is really strong. She spoke about her dad’s 2 years battle with colon cancer. It was stage 2 when discovered and he was given only 1 year to live by the doctors but he pulled through and survived twice the length the doctors gave him. Hes last wish was to bring the whole family on a trip to japan which they were supposed to go in October. But… Now thats not gonna happen.

My friend is really strong putting up a front and all. If it were to happen to me, all I would want to do is coop up at home and see no one.

Wakes being wakes, much as I left with a heavy heart, traditions are traditions. Although I think I’m more of a free thinker than buddhist, I still abide by traditions if I know of them. Traditions/superstitions…. Firstly we donated a token to the funeral. We also took a red thread, put it around a button or something and when we left, threw it in the drain outside. The belief being that the thread ensures the spirit doesnt follow you home. Thereafter once returning home, I washed up with pomelo leaves before stepping into the house.

The day has dragged on long from work followed by a funeral..much to ponder upon. Guess you should always treasure time with loved ones and never take them for granted.

My first dive trip was to the open water course at dayang. Except for the tiresome journey over, the resort was excellent! Very rustic place with the comfortable bare essentials. Visitors to the island mostly go for the sole purpose of diving. You get the walk around the entire place covered in soft sand. Footwear optional. You wake up with the sea at your doorstep greeting you and the sound of the waves splashing gently along the coast.

Open water was scary since we were entering unchartered territory with fears of the unknown down in the deep blue. But we had an excellent instructor; Lester from Orpheus dive. He teaches you what you need to know and lets you learn the others based on natural instincts and common sense. This means less reliance on your instructor and less memory work of step by step procedures that might scare you should you forget one step and not know how to adapt thereafter.

Most recently, we took up the advanced dive course and it was a blast! The feeling of heading back into the deep blue, entering a different world, spending the weekend leading a different lifestyle doing nothing but dive. Those were fantastic times! To the extent that whenever we were heading back home after a dive weekend getaway it would always suck. The thought of returning to reality and back to work. Dive withdrawal syndrome kicks in almost immediately once you’re on your way leaving the resort.

The best part about diving is meeting people. Because the dive community in Singapore is rather small, you get to meet people from all walks of life over trips and through little gatherings arranged by the dive companies.

Initially it felt like there wasnt much in common to talk about especially when meeting new people. But the more you become a dive junkie, you realise the conversations are all tuned toward diving. What did you do underwater, what did you see, free divings, where have you been, etc.

Also, the people I’ve met through diving thus far are a mighty fun loving bunch with much dive stories to tell and always cracking up a joke.

Since diving is kinda a hobby you unknowingly build into your lifestyle, you could call divers new age hippies. We live double lives one on land and another down in the deep blue.

For me, what I love most about diving is entering another world. Peace and adventure all at once where the fishes swim all around you and your presence barely affecting them.

After that pathetic birthday milestone recap.. It was onward for creating some new milestones this time round.

I tussled with Lasik for abit deciding between doctors and lasik procedures with a load of background research on my own. Eventually, I had it done at eagle eye centre with Dr Julian Theng. The whole experience was good from service staff to doctor to service standards. They even had a tad of extra touch with a framed photo gift of you undergoing the procedure.

Prior to that, I was away in mongolia on a voluntary trip with 13 other volunteers. We hosted a summer camp for street kids in tereji national park. (Perhaps I should do a full length post on this.) The experience was certainly worth it meeting new people and making new friends. Certainly.. Finally heading on a trip with big sister although she still eludes me (thats the kick of it huh).

Most recently, as runner once told me… “To try something new all the time.” I was helping out at at flea one afternoon @ *scape. Interesting exposure. What did I learn? The flea organizer makes the most money!

Big sister is leaving on her gap year soon. Despite all the recent activities… I haven’t known her any better. Perhaps the fact that she has always been my senior(though its only by a year) we will never be on the same level.

Well then… This is about it. Off to bed for hopefully another fruitful day at work.

Making friends and yet afraid to step out and know them better. Fear of? Fear of the realization that we are actually quite different and everything will change from then on. Fear of showing a different side of myself which I haven’t figured out if it is me or just plastic gemini.

With that mental image in mind, celebrating another year of existence on earth does feel pointless since I haven’t got anything to celebrate over. So then, I decided to live my weekend just like any other. Simple.

Nonetheless, close friends and family have done their part in the celebrations. One was on the 3rd of June with friends as written in the earlier post. Today, it was a dinner with family.

Mum and dad thought that we should go somewhere special. Like the usual where we dress up slightly nicer and try out someplace new. Me however had a very simple request of seafood anywhere. And as they tried suggesting other better nicer places, I stuck to simplicity. We ended up with seafood at Long Beach East Coast. Apart from the crabs, there was drunken prawns. A dish we rarely ordered unless at an entertainment dinner. This time round I had a drunken prawn sashimi peeled with love from dad. Rachel stare in partial disbelief that dad was literally snapping the head of a live prawn afterwhich one jumped out of the pot, landed right in front of her and splashed in her dish of soy sauce.  It was pretty hilarious as she sat there taken aback and when mum let out a scream as the prawn wriggled one last time.

Soon enough, dad caught whole of it, snapped its head off and peeled it for sashimi. The restaurant was rather noisy so we mostly dined in the company of loved ones and good food. It was heartening to see and feel the other birthday celebrations around with clapping hands and songs sung.

That was it. My birthday dinner. No birthday cake from family either cos no one bought it. But that was fine this time round cos I couldn’t really care for a cake or song.

Then again, birthday celebrations have grown to be an unimportant event to me. Life should be celebrated daily rather than one special day for the entire year.

Reflecting further on what have I actually achieved this year, its probably the friends I’ve gained. Friends I hope will last for awhile to come. Such as colleagues and ex-colleagues at work, friends from diving and gym. Nevertheless, old friendships I’ve managed to maintain all these years are treasured even more.

As minor as it may seem, the messages and wall posts on Facebook have warmed my heart. People who cared enough to pass a simple greeting no matter how small, much appreciated. I hardly remember birthdays and seldom dish out wishes so I am touched by friends no matter how distant that bothered to even wish me.

I shall attempt to take up that practise likewise and wish people over their birthdays.

In the year ahead, I hope to shed some pounds, lose the glasses and start letting my money grow with me. Besides that, I hope to find love and even more happiness.

Wish me luck!